The other night, I was listening to the Optimal Living Daily podcast episode 2150 entitled, “‘Stop Making Goals, Set Intentions Instead’ by Stephen Warley of Life Skills That Matter on An Intentional Life.”
Intentions “create lasting and sustained change” while goals “focus on hustling after a temporary outcome.” As Warley says, the actual outcome isn’t what we are truly seeking. What we hope for overall is a change in how we feel. Often, goals aren’t structured for changing how we feel. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all set goals, but what if we started setting more intentions instead? That really hit me.
For my husband and I, our goals have been jotted down on a shared to-do list for the past few months, and it’s all about the rise and grind. Do this, check. Do that, check. As many of us can agree, checking something off a to-do list is definitely satisfying; however, when that satisfaction quickly wanes, what’s next?
We are currently smack in the middle of a DIY renovation of our downstairs living area. With daily life, a toddler, a preschooler, and the inexhaustible pandemic, it has brought on many extra feelings of anxiety for both of us. Does it necessarily have to be?
Whenever you find yourself living in the negative, reframing your thoughts to take a look at the positive is basically necessary for your mental health. It can be difficult to make a habit of it, but even a couple positive spins here and there can really impact your mood.
If my husband and I just keep achieving goals like finish the dining room bench seating, put the hardware on the kitchen cabinets, etc., we will always feel good after completing a task, but that good feeling won’t stick around for long. When I was listening to this podcast, it began to make sense. We are looking at the goals, not the intentions. And it isn’t working.
“Intentions build habits. Goals don’t. Trust me, you don’t want whatever your goal is. You want to make a change in your life and that comes from changing your habits. […] Intentions focus on changing your mindset and habits everyday so that you can change how you feel moment by moment and be open to possibility.” -Stephen Warley
Okay. Goal: Finish the dang dining room. Intention: To create a functional dining space for entertaining that is also easy to navigate through in day-to-day life. (For us, our dining room also acts like a hallway that you pass through from the kitchen to the living room, and the way it was structured previously, it didn’t lend itself to be a functional walkway and entertaining space. So, we decided to change it.)
The next project that I tackled in this room after listening to the podcast felt different. It wasn’t just a bullet point on a to-do list. There was a purpose behind it. I was helping to make a positive change to our living situation. Intentions can be big; they can be small. They can be navigated through and molded to change as life does. Most of all, intentions make a difference in our overall mental health. They create real and lasting change that is good for the soul.
In whatever you do, if you are feeling overwhelmed or unsatisfied, I urge you, try creating an intention instead. Then, try it again. And again. You will feel a difference within.
