It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
The past few years, I’ve felt that the holiday pressure to deck the halls and fa la la la la has become more trouble than it was worth.
I do enjoy the holiday season and all that comes with it, but the past few years, I’ve felt that the pressure to deck the halls and fa la la la la has become more trouble than it was worth. Whether the pressure comes from social media, societal expectations, the movies, or wherever, it was there–and it was becoming a little too much. Instead of enjoying a season that is often described as “magical,” “merry,” and “peaceful,” a lot of unnecessary stress and hard work can go into making the holiday season “festive” and “perfect.”
The meaning of “perfect” and “festive” aren’t as straightforward as we may think. Perfect is defined as “having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics,” and festive is defined as “suitable for a feast or festival.” There aren’t any rubrics to be graded against here–these definitions are more of umbrella terms, where a spectrum lay beneath. A spectrum with a space where you fit in, albeit how different that looks from your neighbor’s definition. If you’re just a little festive (whatever that means), you’re still festive. Just like if you’re very festive (whatever that means.) As long as your season is filled with magic, merriment, and peace to the extent that makes you feel satisfied, that is all that matters. That is perfection. That is festive.
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
As I got older, my mind defaulted more and more to the beautifully decorated homes in the movies when I thought about what the holidays should look like. As if a few more boughs of holly and killing yourself over 32 batches of cookies from scratch would kick up how “perfect” Christmas really was. When I really sit with those thoughts, it’s concerning how much we can physically and mentally sacrifice to appear to have achieved perfection. Perfection isn’t real–it’s a dangerous concept.
It’s concerning how much we can physically and mentally sacrifice to appear to have achieved perfection. Perfection isn’t real–it’s a dangerous concept.
In reality, to create magic, all I need to do is be present with my family and participate in the activities and experiences that are normally part of the season for us, such as watching our favorite Christmas movies while cuddled on the couch wearing comfy socks and wrapped in warm blankets.
In reality, to create a festive feel, a sense of merriment, all I need to do is light my favorite Christmas candle, make my favorite meal, and listen to my favorite Christmas carols while enjoying. Any more is up to me and what makes me feel happy. Personally, the creative in me loves to play around with decor, and my favorite way to do so is to use what I have over and over, in different ways, to create new looks whenever inspiration hits. And that’s okay! While we are on the subject of decor…
Deck the Halls
So, let’s talk about those countless bins. Oh. My. Goodness. I usually don’t even use a quarter of what we had stored–so why do I keep saving it? Most of it had no personal meaning, weren’t memorable pieces, and if I did put it all out, made me feel more claustrophobic than merry.
Honestly, growing up, the holidays were always a stressful time for me. All of the social engagements, the amount of money spent–the preparation and inclination to over-achieve in all areas made me feel anything but peaceful. So, this year, I had to ask myself: To what degree is Christmas is supposed to be peaceful, magical, merry, and festive? What was I willing to change to improve what’s most important around the holidays: my happiness and mental health and that of my family?
What was I willing to change to improve what’s most important around the holidays: my happiness and mental health and that of my family?
Let Your Heart be Light
I made some changes, and so far, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Here’s what I did:
- I parted with bins and bins and bins of holiday things that didn’t hold meaning for me. I decorated my home with things I loved and made me happy. Everything else was unnecessary and donated.
- I got rid of large gift lists and the feeling of needing to gift the “perfect thing” to everyone. I went for smaller, more personal items that I hand-picked over the past few months, as I came across them. And I’m very happy with my budget-friendly purchases–and can’t wait to gift them! They really came from the heart.
- I ditched the false sense of feeling required to say yes to everything. Save for a couple instances where this can be impossible, if it doesn’t make me feel all holly and jolly, it’s a no thanks for me.
- I came to terms with the fact that during the holiday season, feeling overwhelming stress is not normal or healthy, and I want to enjoy this beautiful life I have to live.
A New Old-Fashioned Way
I also made these changes to help take even more stress off:
- Decorated at the end of November to allow myself the month of December to just enjoy.
- Completed 90% of my Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving.
- Made a bucket list of experiences that I wish our little family to have this season (if we feel up to it).
- Live in the moment and create your own magic through making memories.
All is Calm, All is Bright
It is still early in December, but I have to say, I feel really good. I feel free from pressure, I have my boundaries set, and I am comfortable with them. I have more time to relax and spend with my kids, and viewing the holiday season through their eyes is the best Christmas gift I could ever receive. Overall, I just feel calm, and happy. Simply happy.
I hope this post encourages you to find that sweet spot around the holiday season. It’s not easy, but we definitely deserve it.
